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My friend from Belarusia sent me a message over the weekend. She was reluctant to tell me the very sad news that her brother had died. She knew that my husband had just gotten out of the hospital having had surgery. She was sobbing in her voice message telling me how her heart is broken at the loss of her brother Yuri. Yuri was 38 years old. He had a heart attack the day before Thanksgiving. Earlier in the day, my friend Vera's husband felt called upon to pray. Eugene prayed at work in the Spirit for over a half hour. Later he said, that the Lord was preparing for his brother-in-law to go home.
I wanted to be there for Vera. I drove down yesterday to New York Mills to the funeral home. It was difficult to find a parking place. The funeral home was overflowing with standing room only. There was Yuri's picture on the big screen. He had beautiful blue eyes. He was very handsome. In fact, Vera's sons resembled their uncle.
Vera spoke about her brother and how kind he was to everyone he met. He had a way of lifting up others even if he himself was in pain. Eugene then translated from the Russian to English.
One of the nephews sang, 'I Will Rise', and all the women, many in fur coats, began to cry. It was very moving.
The funeral director made an announcement before Vera spoke that we had to be out of there in plent;y of time for the scheduled burial at noon. I imagine that he is not used to such big gatherings. There are large families with lots of children. How can you rush folks at a time like this? Sure they needed a place to accomodate everyone, but there is something to be said to having the wake in one's home like in the old days. My cousin Ricky Kingsley was waked in his own home. It was beautiful. Everyone kept vigil, and no one was rushed out the door.
Finally, the people who were standing were permitted to walk past the coffin and to extend their condolences to the family.
Vera is from a family of fourteen. I come from a family of twelve children. Her family greeted me ever so warmly. They were most appreciative that I came. These are the things that can only be done once. It is important to be present if one can on such occasions.
One of Yuri's sisters, Esther, introduced me to their father who was widowed four years ago. He only speaks Russian, but he smiled at me, and spoke, "God Bless you". I was very touched by this.
Esther is the youngest. Yuri was the second youngest. They were very close. Esther was having a particularly hard time.
"This is my American friend Virginia." She said.
Vera was arranging the many flowers. She was setting some red roses on her mother's grave. There were many white roses too. There was a huge. portrait of Yuri placed next to his white coffin. He really was a pure soul.
Then the minister prayed. The mourners broke out in song spontaneously. It was in Russian. Suddenly, I was transported to that part of the world. It was very cold, below freezing and it had just started to snow.
Red roses were distributed to the many mourners. The family solemnly walked up to Yuri's casket. They laid the roses on top individually. I followed suit.
One of Vera's nephews came over and embraced me. He was trying very hard to be strong and contain himself. He, Sam, told me how his uncle wanted to work on his wooden boat. Sam loves working with wood. Sam finished the boat for him this past summer though they never had the chance to go out on it. Sam was glad that he was able to do that for his uncle. Sam is such a selfless young man, mature beyond his 17 years. He was asking for my husband Jim and our son James. He offered for me to go closer as they lowered the coffin. I stepped back as this was their moment.
Silently, I returned to my car as they laid Yuri to rest.
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